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Don't keep feeling sorry for yourself...

A former boss used to keep telling me I complained too much, and nobody else in our group did.

I know I used to say things like, "I know others are even busier than me, but I have so much work I can't do it properly."

He told me my time management was poor. It was, but even after it improved (it became average, though not spectacular), there was still too much work. If you have nine hours essential work each eight hour day, even the essential doesn't get done, and the less important doesn't get touched.

In the end, I put my money where my mouth was, and I left. Result - 40% pay increase, more interesting work and a manageable work load.

We were both right. I did keep moaning. He was so expecting me to moan, he never noticed how carefully I pointed out that others in the group had even more work than me. Other people did moan, though not as much as me. The main difference was they moaned to each other, not to him.

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Stop thinking like a victim

But I didn't do myself any good feeling sorry for myself. I got myself a reputation as someone who always complained. I should have looked on the positive side. That job gave me a whole new career direction, and got me out of work I hated. It led onto something even better. By building on what I'd learnt, the boss at the next job snapped me up because I'd learnt some pretty unique stuff that he needed.

I did consider how good they'd been to me sometimes, but only after I left did I consider it properly. I did the right thing, as someone on the group left shortly before me. Someone else left just after. From a group of five that left them with problems.

I kept thinking it was someone else's fault I had too much work. It was my fault for staying there. I used the opportunity and moved onto something better. Even if I hadn't been able to do that, it was still the best job I'd had till then. It was better than no job at all. By feeling sorry for myself, I was making myself miserable.

The more you feel sorry for yourself, the worse your life gets. The more positive your outlook, the better it gets. Many of us have it pretty easy, yet we keep complaining. Like me. Admire the ones who really have had it hard, yet keep on with little (in many cases no) complaint.

You become what you think you are. Think negative, and you'll stay negative. You won't change overnight, but if you try to concentrate on the positive, and each day improve a little, things will improve and you'll feel better.

Act instead of talking about it. No more excuses. If you think things really are that bad, do something about it. Find another job. Get that qualification for a career change or improvement. Develop that business idea. If it doesn't work (and if you know you've given it the hard work it deserves), learn from it and move onto the next business idea.

Don't wish you were other people. If you think they're better than you, work hard to make yourself better than them. Or concentrate on the positive - those things where you're already better off than them.

Lets get rich, rich, rich together!


© Peter Smith 2009